


Amy and Her Brother

by Moonburns



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M, Sexual Humor, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:40:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21651628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonburns/pseuds/Moonburns
Summary: Jake learns something.
Relationships: Amy Santiago/David Santiago
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Amy and Her Brother

Jake walked into the bedroom of his apartment and found Amy having sex with her brother David.

“Amy?!” Jake yelled. “What the hell!”

“Jake!” Amy cried in surprise. “What are you doing here?” She made no move to get up.

“Hey, Jake!” David said happily as he continued to thrust into Amy.

“Stop fucking my wife!” Jake said.

“Oh, don't overreact,” Amy said. “He's just my brother. We do this all the time. But seriously, why are you here? I thought you were on a stakeout.”

“I was, then I realized I didn't bring the... wait, that's not important!” Jake said. “You're having sex with your brother!”

“Yeah, so?”

“So? Seriously?”

David said, “Sibling incest is quite common, Jake.”

“What?”

“It's true,” David said. He got up on his knees and turned Amy on her side, hooking her leg over his shoulder and sinking his cock into her pussy. “There have been numerous studies. Almost everybody does it. They just never talk about it.”

“Am I going insane?” Jake said, clutching his head. “That can't be right.”

“You're an only child, aren't you?” David said. “That explains it. You wouldn't know.”

“Except he recently found out that he has a sister,” Amy said. “I thought when they met he would figure it out, but no.”

“What are you talking about?” Jake said.

Amy said, “You didn't notice how much your sister wanted to have sex with you?”

“What?”

In a flashback, Jake, standing by the door of his apartment, says, “Okay, everybody ready to go out for dinner?”

Jake's sister Kate looks him up and down and says, “Damn, Jake, you're looking _hot_!”

Jake looks down at his jacket and says, “You're right, it's a warm night, I should wear something lighter.” He leaves to change.

Amy and Kate look at each other.

In another flashback, Kate is sitting on the couch in a thin nightie. “Jake, are you busy?” she says in a sing-song voice as she trails a hand along her inner thigh.

“Yeah, super busy, I'm late for work, see you later!” Jake says as he opens the door and leaves without looking back.

Amy, in a nearby chair, shrugs at Kate, who shrugs back.

Another flashback. Kate is naked on the bed. “Jake!” she yells. “Are we having sex or what?”

“Sorry, can't hear you!” Jake yells from the other room. “And I'm late for work, bye!”

Amy, who is also naked on the bed, shrugs, then starts making out with Kate.

“Wait, what exactly happened between you and...” Jake said.

“Never mind,” Amy said. “The important thing is, she visiting again for Christmas, and you can find out for yourself how amazing sex can be between a brother and a sister.”

Jake said, “I am not...”

Boyle entered the room. “Hey, Jake, did you find the... oh, hi Amy. And you must be her brother?” He stretched out his hand. “Hi, I'm Charles.”

David reached around Amy's leg and shook his hand. “David. Nice to meet you.”

Boyle said, “Gosh, you guys are really going at it. Well done.”

“Boyle!” Jake said. “Amy is cheating on me with her brother!”

“Huh?” Boyle said, confused. “Oh, I keep forgetting you wouldn't know, growing up as an only child. Sibling incest is quite common.”

“Told you,” David said.

Boyle said, “And incestuous relationships exist outside of and separate from normal relationships, so technically it's not cheating. Gee, I thought Amy would have told you about that.”

“I was going to,” Amy said. “But it was actually kind of hotter with him not knowing.”

“So are you saying you have sex with your sisters?” Jake said.

Boyle said, “Unfortunately, no, all Boyle women are lesbians. And all Boyle men are, of course, 100% straight. It's the curse of the Boyles that only half of the family can know the joy of incest. And wow, do they enjoy it. The girls are doing it _all the time_. Sometimes they let us watch. It's so beautiful. And so _frustrating_.”

“That's a bummer, man,” David said. “Do you want to watch us?”

“Oh boy, do I!”

Jake said, “Nobody is watching Amy have sex with her brother!”

Rosa walked into the room. “Jake, did you find the thing yet?” She looked at the bed. “Having sex with your brother, huh? Dope.”

“Oh no, Rosa,” Jake said. “You too?”

“You mean, do I have sex with my brother _and_ my sister?” Rosa said. “Yep. It's awesome.”

“I feel like my head is going to explode,” Jake said.

“Speaking of exploding...” David said as he vigorously pumped his cock into Amy.

“Oh my god, yes!” Amy said.

“Oh my god!” Terry walked into the room and gaped at Amy and David.

“Sarge, thank god,” Jake said. “You think this is wrong too, right?”

“What?” Terry said. “No, I just remembered I have a date with my sister tonight. Terry is going to be fucking her all night long.”

“I give up,” Jake said.

“Peralta!” Captain Holt said from the hallway.

“How is everybody getting into my apartment?” Jake said.

“You are holding up the investigation...” Holt said as he entered the room, then stopped. “Oh, I apologize, I did not realize Santiago was making sweet love to her brother. Please, continue.”

Amy said, “Thank you, Captain. We're almost done.”

“I'm leaving,” Jake said. “Could everybody move so I can leave?”

As Jake struggled to get through the press of bodies by the door, Holt said, “What is his problem?”

“He just found out about all this,” Boyle whispered. “Only child.”

“Ah.” Holt put a hand on Jake's shoulder. “There is no reason to be upset. Incest between siblings is a wondrous and beautiful act.”

Jake said, “Captain, please tell me you don't have sex with your brother.”

“No, I do not,” Holt said. “Because I do not have a gay brother. If I did, I would imagine we would be making sweet love quite often.”

“But you're married!” Jake said.

“Indeed. And my husband Kevin _does_ have a gay brother. They get together once a week, to make sweet love. I occasionally watch. It is magnificent.” Holt turned Jake toward the bed. “Look. Just look at how happy your wife is.”

“Fuck me!” Amy said fiercely as David pounded her pussy. “Make me come like Jake never could!”

“All right, everybody out!” Jake said. He started pushing people into the hall. “Sorry, no more watching. Thank you for coming, and thank you for telling me all about incest, but we have a job to do, and oh look, I found the thing! Now we can go back onto the street, where hopefully I will get shot multiple times, because that would be the easiest way to deal with this nightmare. So let's go, let's go!”

As his grumbling colleagues approached the door, it opened. Hitchcock and Scully stood in the doorway. “Did we miss anything?”


End file.
